im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
