Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
