no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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