I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
