btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
