My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
