6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
