I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
