She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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