You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
