people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize