How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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