I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize