She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
