:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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