I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
