I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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