Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
