I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize