You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
