if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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