Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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