You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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