You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
