I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize