We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
