Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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