Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
