Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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