sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize