he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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