You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
