and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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