The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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