I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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