The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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