hotel room ftw
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
