do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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