Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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