I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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