I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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