Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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