Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
