tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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