wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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