Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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