I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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