im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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