just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
