if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
