marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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