I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize