Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
