I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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