Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
