glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well I just put wine in my tea
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize