Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
