is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I deserve this hangover.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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