What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
