Plan B is the new Plan A
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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