Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
