I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This can only be settled by a dance off.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
